Writing Experiment #34 - Ryann Manuscript Edit Part 2

This is number thirty-four in a series of posts where I document the complete process of writing a novella - Day By Day!

INTRODUCTION

I am documenting (via my blog) the complete start to finish experience of writing a novella that I will be releasing for FREE once it is written and edited.

Ryann is the story of a thirteen year-old girl who works as a servant for a tyrant of a master, and longs for the day when she can buy her freedom. The novella will serve as the introduction to a new fantasy series I will start writing in 2013.

I have already written approximately 900 words per day and completed the draft manuscript. Now it's onto the editing phase.


The timeline for the experiment is as follows:

• Plotting, Characters and Scene Outlines - April 1to April 20 - COMPLETE
• First Draft Manuscript - April 21 to May 18 - COMPLETE
• First Manuscript Edits - June 18 to June 21 - COMPLETE
• Reader Proofs - June 22 to July 10
• Final Manuscript Edits - July 11 to July 14
• Ryann LAUNCH - July 25

STATUS

Today's Date: June 22nd
Progress: Part 2 of my editing is complete (Chapters 5 thru 14)

Below is a revised portion from Chapter Four. In a few days time I'll be ready to send out copies of the manuscript to beta readers. Are you on that list? If you'd like to be, click HERE. In the meantime why don't you read the complete draft manuscript (the original unedited version)?

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CHAPTER FOUR

...“Do you mind if I sit next to you?”

Ryann looked up from her dinner. “What?”

“Can I sit here?” the boy repeated.

“Yes,” Ryann replied, staring down at her plate once more. “Do whatever you want to do.”

“I’m sorry about Megan. I know she was your best friend.”

“I don’t have a best friend. I still don’t have a best friend.”

“What about me?” asked the boy.

“Ryann looked up from her plate once more. “You? You never even speak to me usually. You just feel sorry for me today.”

“No I don’t, Ree. I can call you Ree, can’t I?”

“I guess.”

“And you can call me Kieran.”

“But that’s your name.”

“Oh,” said Kieran. “So you know that then?”

“Of course I do. I’m not stupid or anything. I’ve seen you in the kitchens and helping out about the place. I know who you are.”

Kieran smiled. “Well that’s good to know then.” He sat down next to Ryann and pushed his plate along the table. “Do you want any of my dinner?”

Ryann scrunched up her nose and looked into his face. “Why would I want some of your dinner?”

“Well, just. You know?”

“What?”

“Well, since you arrived in the castle you’ve been getting thinner.”

“What?” Ryann shouted, getting to her feet. “You’re sorry for me because my friend died and I’m getting thinner? Did I look better when I was fatter then? Is that what you’re saying?”

“No. No. I… I just meant that…”

“Here, why don’t you have one of my potatoes? I wouldn’t want you to get thin too.” Ryann picked up a potato, dropped it onto Kieran’s plate and sat down again.

Kieran blushed. “I’m sorry, Ree. Can I start again? I didn’t mean to appear rude. I was just saying that if you’re not getting enough food then I am happy to share with you. That’s all.”

“And in return you expect me to share with you?”

“Only if you want to.” Kieran pricked a large piece of carrot with his fork and put it onto Ryann’s plate. “Now we’re even. Come on, let’s eat.”...